The Road Less Praised: Discovering Growth Through Constructive Criticism
Earlier in my career, I had a client who constantly pushed me, making our interactions quite challenging. He once told me, “You never learn from a compliment.” This statement, though initially unsettling, eventually became a guiding principle in my professional life.
At one point, I seriously considered terminating the contract due to the relentless pressure. However, I’m thankful I didn’t. Over time, I realized that he genuinely wanted to teach me and help me grow. He recommended two transformative books that had a significant impact on my thinking: “Good to Great” by his friend Jim Collins and “The Goal” by Eliyahu M. Goldratt. These books are now staples in my personal and professional library, and I highly recommend them to anyone seeking growth.
One day, sitting in his office, he gave me a profound insight. “Jerry, you don’t realize that the construction business is the same as a manufacturing business.” That statement was a revelation for me. It shifted my perspective and opened my eyes to new ways of thinking about processes and efficiency.
“Faithful are the wounds of a friend [who corrects out of love and concern],
But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful [because they serve his hidden agenda]”
– King Solomon
Throughout our discussions—in his office, on job sites, over coffee, and during meals—he constantly challenged me. It wasn’t always pleasant. He frequently reminded me that I would learn nothing from a compliment and that I’d only get what I inspect, not what I expect. This was a tough lesson, but an invaluable one.
Once I managed to set aside my ego, I realized that he genuinely liked me and was trying to help me improve. He was investing in me, helping me become better. Most importantly, our relationship continues to grow.
Most people, myself included, prefer praise over correction. Many avoid being corrected at all costs. But receiving correction can be a valuable gem if you don’t just hear it but internalize and apply the feedback. Simply listening and then grumbling under your breath isn’t true correction and will not yield positive results.
The experience with this client taught me invaluable lessons that I carry with me to this day. His insistence on constructive criticism over empty praise pushed me to grow and improve, both personally and professionally. By embracing his feedback and recognizing the investment he was making in my development, I was able to transform our company and build a lasting friendship.
I encourage you to seek out and welcome constructive criticism in your own life. Remember, growth often comes from the challenges we face and the lessons we learn along the way. Embrace these opportunities, and you will find that the path to excellence is paved with the stones of constructive feedback.
Jerry
